The use of metaphor can be very helpful in therapy. You may or may not have heard the Tale of The Two Wolves, this one in particular has helped me and my patients greatly by navigating us through both the big and small struggles.

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So you want to change, and you think therapy will help. It can, and very often does. Psychotherapy can be useful to help guide someone on this journey. Therapy provides a non-judgmental space to take an honest look at not only what someone wants to change, but why and how it matters.

Has life disappointed you in some way? Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of “how to move on” from hurt. This could be hurt feelings, a broken relationship, or life’s inevitable disappointments.

One of the many important takeaways from  Attachment Theory is the understanding that the behavior a child displayed toward an adult caregiver in childhood, is often consistent with social behaviors later in life.  Meaning that this early childhood attachment to our primary caregiver provides an emotional blueprint that we take into adulthood. 

If we take a step back, we might even admit that the thoughts about the problem are more problematic than the problem itself.  For example, the thoughts might be “My boss should be nicer”, “I should have spoken up”, “I could lose my job”.  These thoughts link together to create a story in our heads.  A story that often gets far off course from the facts of the situation. 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a modality that combines self-awareness/acceptance with mindfulness practices. What I love most about ACT is the Life Map.

By letting go of the need to be perfect, or even above average, we make room for self-compassion.  You already know how to do this.   Using love and kindness toward a loved one or a pet is the same concept.  We instinctively know how to extend compassion and kindness to others.  Often it is much more difficult to treat ourselves the same way.

Are you confused about a particular relationship? Is it causing you pain? When you are hurting in relationships, thoughts and feelings can spin in your mind. Lots of times, these thoughts and feelings remain behind the scene, while you go about your life. This can drain you of emotional energy and cause difficult feelings.

It took me a while to realize that Values are the guardrails of life. If we pay attention to them they can prevent us from causing damage to ourselves or others. We all know on some level that what we value is important information, but how do we actually apply it to making decisions?

Self-awareness is the ability to look inward. It is the starting place toward self-acceptance and requires courage, empathy, and self-compassion. Taking a brave look at all of our personal strengths and weaknesses can give us insight and lead to growth. There are many different roads that lead to self-awareness. Recently I discovered a wonderful resource called, “Core IQ”. Sounds intimidating, doesn’t it? Once you learn about Core IQ, it becomes more impressive than intimidating, but I will let you be the judge.