The Guidance of a Life-Map
“There is an ancient Eastern saying: If you don’t decide where you are going, you’ll end up wherever you’re heading”
The ACT Matrix Life Map
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a modality that combines self-awareness/acceptance with mindfulness practices. What I love most about ACT is the Life Map. It was created by Timothy Gordon, a social worker who co-wrote the book, ACT Approach and is adapted from the ACT Matrik by Dr. Kevin Polk. You can learn more about Timothy Gordon here.
What is the Life Map?
The ACT Life Map is a way to identify patterns of behavior that move either TOWARD or AWAY from the things that matter to you. It is a personalized diagram that represents inner and outer experiences, behaviors, and motivations.
Using The Life-Map to decide where you are going
There are two directions on the life-map. There is chasing what matters and escaping what you don't want to feel. To identify what you are chasing, ask yourself “who and what matters to me?”. These are the principles and qualities that give your life purpose and meaning. People and values that drive the meaning in your life, the things you desire to move toward.
What gets in the way?
Life would be very easy if we could just focus on the things that matter most to us. The problem is, there are difficult thoughts, feelings, memories, and sensations that get in the way of us honoring what is most important. These are the things that happen inside of us. Sometimes we are very much unaware. They are harder to identify yet have a very powerful presence. For example, for me, being a “good therapist” is very important. What gets in the way might be self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, self-criticism, etc.
How do you escape?
When these difficult thoughts, feelings, memories, and sensations show up for you… what does that make you do? We all have different “escape” behaviors. These are the behaviors that we are compelled to do when we want those uncomfortable things to go away. Usually, they fall under the category of escape, avoid, or control the situation. For me to be a “good therapist”, escape behaviors might be procrastination (avoid writing/posting), distraction (binge tv instead of reading), negative thinking patterns, low self-care, etc.
What have you moved toward?
What are the specific behaviors that you might do to move toward the people and things you value? These might be more goal orientated. The who, where, or what you could be doing to make what’s important more present in your life? If you were in a movie, what might I see you do? For my “good therapist” example it would be networking, workshops/learning, supervision, self-care, etc.
Values are different for everyone
It is important to note here that the life-map will be very different for everyone. There is no right/wrong or good/bad. It is more related to what is or is not working to get you where you want to go. Furthermore, awareness of this process is more important than change. Meaning, the escape behaviors may never go away, some might even be helpful. This is the mindfulness aspect. The awareness honors the choice and empowers your decisions.
You are the center of The Life Map
Do you remember the old-fashioned paper maps?. The kind where you first find where you are, and then where you want to go?
There might be several different ways to get where you want to go on that map. You decide the where and you decide the how… the map is just information. Similarly, with a life-map, the last step is to reflect on You. That YOU are separate from the places you want to go. You are the observer, noticing what is important to you and how you behave in relation to these things. This noticing will also help enlighten you to the purpose of some of your behaviors (is this an escape behavior or a toward behavior?).
KIM’S LIFE MAP EXAMPLE
Awareness is key
When we become aware of how our experiences are impacting us, we are on the road to accepting things as they are. We don’t have to resist the pain, we can be open and aware of it. This is very different from white-knuckling the pain, and hoping and praying it goes away. It is a more compassionate stance. It creates space between us (the noticer) and the pain. That awareness can give us freedom. The freedom to choose to engage in the world in a way that aligns with what is uniquely important to us.
“Fulfillment does not mean our difficult emotions disappear; it means we change our relationship with them.”
Taking a deeper dive into what matters can inform all of your life choices. Both the little and big decisions are the building blocks to a rich meaningful life. Psychotherapy can help you explore what this means for you. If you are looking for this type of support, or have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out, by using the form below.
