Inspiration List - Your Backbone For a Healthier State of Mind
“Listen to then follow the whispers of your heart”
Has Life Disappointed You In Some Way?
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of “how to move on” from hurt. This could be hurt feelings, a broken relationship, or life’s inevitable disappointments. I came across Susan Winter’s YouTube video. Susan Winter is a life coach and best-selling author. See more about Susan here.
In her YouTube video, she makes the suggestion that obsessive thoughts about a broken relationship can be replaced with a new goal for relief and healing.
“Without a goal, you can’t score”
The tricky part is that the new goal has to be equally compelling to the hurt. This seems like a tall order.
Maybe not, often we get so distracted by what is not working in our lives we tend to ignore what could be. The loss that we suffer claims all of the attention because in many ways we are also grieving a future we can no longer have. What about that future… and the hopes and dreams that remain unexamined?
“You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream ”
How can we take a glance at our unrealized future?
One popularized term is the “Bucket List”. What is a Bucket List? A bucket list is simply a list of experiences a person would like to do before they die (“kick the bucket”). It is taken from the 2007 movie of the same name, “Bucket List”, about two cancer patients. Watch Morgan Freeman explains it in this video.
(Because everything sounds better when Morgan Freeman explains it)
It doesn’t have to be morbid. The “Bucket List” is just a metaphor for space between how a person is living their life and how they wish to. It has evolved into all different sorts of lists over the years.
“Fill your life with tiny and large adventurous moments.” ~ Sark
It can be a list of things you want to do before a certain age or time of your life.
Wish List
Goal List
Quarantine Bucket List
Life to-do list
Summer bucket list
Weekend hit list
Retirement to-do List
20 before 20
30 before 30
40 before 40
50 before 50
60 before 60
70 before 70
Who Needs One?
So you have spent time grieving and now you want to move on from a loss… chase your dreams. If the word “dreams'' sounds too dramatic… chase your “goals” or “heart”. This type of focus can help with direction and purpose, which might be missing in your life right now. When purpose or meaning is absent, we can spiral into feelings of depression, anxiety, low self-worth, substance abuse, and isolation.
“You can, You should, and if you are brave enough to start, you will”
~ Stephen King
How to Make an inspiration List.
There is no right or wrong way to do this type of exercise. It is simply a way to motivate and excite you about the things you value in life. It provides an opportunity for you to examine what you say is important, vs. what your actions display. One helpful worksheet can be found by clicking the button below… but again, there are many different ways to accomplish this.
How this applies to relationships is harder to grapple with. As radio talk show host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger says, “ you have to decide between now and dead how you want to live your life and make choices?”. It sounds harsh. But both this statement and the Bucket List, are wake-up calls to examine how you're living, and how it is benefiting you, and the quality of your life.
Not an easy thing to do. It takes courage to look inward and outward at the same time. In some cases, we are so entrenched in sadness and disappointment that just knowing our own desires is hard work.
Psychotherapy can be useful to help guide you on this journey. Therapy provides a non-judgmental space for you to take an honest look at how your life is playing out, and what might need to change. If you are looking for this type of support, or have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out by clicking the button.
