The Spotlight Effect
“What others think of you is none of your business”
Hey Wilmington, Who cares what other people think?...
It’s a normal human need to feel accepted and valued by others. Most of us care deeply about the impressions we make socially. Yet, being overly focused on how we are being perceived can lead to uncomfortable feelings and excessive worry about what other people think.
Under the Spotlight
The Spotlight Effect is a term used in psychology that refers to our tendency to overestimate the extent to which other people notice us. We will often feel as though a spotlight shines directly on us, revealing all our mistakes and flaws for others to see. Psychologist Thomas Gilovich published a study in 2000 that coined the term Spotlight Effect. He asked college students to wear a Barry Manilow tee shirt. Assuming this would be seen as an embarrassing tee shirt to wear, he asked the students to guess how noticeable they would be in public. The results of this study revealed that students consistently perceived being noticed by others much more than they actually were noticed. This result was duplicated when asked to wear favorable or “cool” tee shirts and asked to predict noticeability. Overall the amount of perceived attention was consistently overestimated compared to actual attention. See more on the Barry Manilow study here at the video listed above.
“You’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do”
The Spotlight Effect can occur when...
When people have a stain on their shirt they might overestimate how noticeable it is.
When people participate in a group discussion they might overestimate how lasting their inaccurate comments were.
When people participate in a sporting event they might overestimate how teammates view a mistake that was made
When your face is numb from the dentist and you think it looks extremely obvious but it is more of a sensation than a feature.
You didn’t realize your shirt was on backward till you get to work, and are preoccupied with who might have noticed.
Why It Matters
“Self-consciousness is a disease. Self-awareness is health.”
For people with social anxiety, this can be very uncomfortable and lead to social withdrawal or self-isolation. When we fail to challenge our thoughts and feelings about self-judgment, we can become trapped in its grasp. Identifying the spotlight effect can help us question our own misperceptions and trade them for a more realistic view.
Without knowledge of the spotlight effect, a small struggle can become blown out of proportion by negative thought patterns. For example, a simple mistake shared in a group conversation can lead to self-defeating thoughts like, “Everyone thinks I’m stupid”. This type of negative self-talk can be changed to “People may have noticed my mistake, but they are probably not thinking much about it”.
Overcoming the Spotlight Effect
Another key discovery from Gilovich’s study was that when a person's self-focus lessened, so too did the spotlight effect. Meaning that the more hyper-aware we are of our own situation, the more we assume that others are too. So, deliberately finding ways to lessen your own self-focus can be helpful. By becoming more attuned to the happenings around you, and less on your own discomfort you can anchor yourself to the reality of the situation.
Self Compassion can be helpful when dealing with the spotlight effect. It helps to shift the focus on how life is filled with ups and downs, and people have different strengths and weaknesses. Extend some kindness and humor to the situation. This can lower the intensity in a reassuring way. Something overwhelming changes to mildly uncomfortable and likely fleeting. For more on self-compassion check out Kristen Neff’s research here.
“I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing toward being a champion.”
Challenge your thoughts using the “double standard technique”. What would you say to a friend in a similar situation? Chances are you would be more level-headed and even-tempered as you advise this friend.
Taking a look at self-critical thoughts can help to improve confidence and lessen social anxiety. This connection is simple but often overlooked. Identifying self-critical thoughts and challenging them can be difficult; often they go unnoticed. Psychotherapy can be useful to help guide you on this journey. Therapy provides a non-judgmental space for you to take an honest look at your relationship with yourself. If you are looking for this type of support, or have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out, by clicking the button below.
