Coping in Fives - Three ways to use the number 5 for a calmer you
Have you ever wished you could feel different in just a few seconds?
As the saying goes, this can be “simple- but not easy”. How can we make it both simple and easy...well, maybe easier?
Here in Wilmington, NC it will soon be New Years Eve. Soon we will find ourselves counting down to 2021. With all the struggles of 2020, there are many ways that we can become overwhelmed with stress and trauma. What are some simple coping strategies to deal with stress and anxiety? Maybe some that you may not have yet tried? Sticking with the New Year's Eve countdown theme, here are three that you may not have thought of.
What are coping mechanisms anyway? Coping mechanisms are strategies people use in the face of stress or perceived threat. They provide a way to help manage painful or difficult emotions (anxiety, anger, fear etc.). Simply put, coping mechanisms help us to find improved emotional balance.
The challenge is that coping mechanisms are individual, meaning what works for one person may not work for another. By trying new ones and practicing often, we may find coping strategies that are a good fit for our individual emotional needs. The truth is, more than likely, you are already using coping mechanisms, only without the fancy name. When you are frustrated and choose to go for a run, that is an example of a healthy coping mechanism.
How can I use coping strategies to manage difficult feelings?
Again, these strategies are simple… but not easy. And the “go for a run” example fits here, because just like exercise…. Healthy coping takes practice and commitment. It isn’t the kind of thing you can try one time and say, “well, that didn’t help”. Coping mechanisms work best when we practice them often, and they take practice to incorporate into your life. A good way to do this, is to create a habit, or routine. This also helps with the other aspect of coping mechanisms, often if we practice a coping strategy when we don’t need it, it can be more readily available under pressure. Sounds counterintuitive, but takes us back to the best way to get good at something is with practice.
What are some quick, healthy coping mechanisms?
5-4-3-2-1 Five Senses
Grounding is a coping strategy that can help you to improve awareness in the present moment through your senses. It can often calm you and help with adjustment to a stressful situation. Here’s how-
Look around for five objects you can see and say them out loud to yourself (“ I see a computer, pen, paper, light, rug”)
Now focus your attention on how your body feels. Say out loud four things you feel (“ I can feel the chair I am sitting on, the socks on my feet, the breeze on my face, the hair on my neck”)
Listen for three sounds. Say them out loud (“I hear the traffic outside, voices near me, a ringing phone”).
Can you smell two different smells? You might have to move or locate something near you. If not, think about what your favorite two smells are and bring them to mind.
Taste is the last one. If you focus, can you taste one thing? If not, can you bring to mind your favorite thing to taste?
For this, and other grounding exercises to try look here!
1-2-3-4-5 Sticky Note Breathing
Mindful breathing is a very basic yet powerful meditation practice. The idea is to simply focus your attention on your breathing. Notice its natural rhythm and flow. Notice how it feels with each inhale and exhale. This is another great way to ground yourself in the moment. But how can we remind ourselves to do this throughout the day? One way to remember to make this a daily practice is to find 5 sticky notes. Simply place those 5 sticky notes all around your environment (car, office, bathroom, bedroom etc.). Each time you see the sticky note, you practice mindfulness breathing.This is a good way to make a five-minute investment into a calmer, more relaxed you. It doesn’t have to be sticky notes.. Any reminder will do (watch or phone alarm, everytime you sit in your car etc.)
Here is a mindful breathing worksheet for more information!
Mel Robins Rocket Rule
Have you heard of Mel Robbins 5 second rule (The Rocket Rule)?
Can you picture a rocket ship in your head. Imagine the countdown till take off… 5-4-3-2-1 blastoff. This technique, by Mel,is used to help find momentum toward healthy actions, even when you don’t feel like it. When fighting with yourself to do something, simply count backwards to propel yourself into action.
“The five second rule, the moment you have an instinct to act on a goal must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you” - Mel Robbins
So the next time you are nervous or scared… instead of fighting that feeling or waiting for it to pass… jump into action with the rocket countdown.
For more about Mel’s rule, check her out here!
So, there you have it… three countdown coping suggestions. By incorporating them into your daily routine you may be better prepared for times of stress. They won’t take the anger, fear, frustration away but they can alter your focus to give you a little more control over the moment. Sometimes during times of overwhelming stress, the present moment is the best place to start. To learn more about my approach or ask me any questions you may have about the three mechanisms don’t hesitate to fill out the form below!
