Take your Mind, Body, and Spirit into 2021

Did 2020 wear you out? Do you doubt things can improve just because the calendar changed?  

There are many things outside of our control right now; covid-19, election results, school closings, job loss, separation from loved ones.  We get so overwhelmed with these big things that we cannot change- that we often ignore the things we can control.

If we look at it from the perspective of Mind, Body, and Spirit…. What are some small ways we can start feeling better right this minute?. These things would not require a covid-vaccine, closure on an election, school openings, or the reverse of whatever is bothering us. It only requires our attention on the things within our control.

Mind

We all talk to ourselves all day long. Some of us notice more than others, but we all do it in some way. It is common for us to respond to the stressors of life by employing negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is basically being critical toward yourself in your own head. We beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we plan.  

Examples of negative self-talk are “I’m an idiot”, “I’ll always be alone” etc. This type of inner dialogue keeps us stuck in feelings of anxiety and depression, sometimes without the self-knowledge that it is happening. The first step to changing this dynamic is to notice that it is happening. With some effort, you can “turn up the volume” on the dialogue in your head. This improved awareness will help you to see the connection between what you are thinking, and how you are feeling. Another helpful step is to write down the negative thoughts on paper or share them with a trusted friend. Once they are outside, in the open they tend to lose their power. By putting the thoughts on paper or sharing them with a trusted friend, you can examine that thought more clearly. In the book, Feeling Good Handbook, Dr. David Burns, recommends many ways to cope with these types of thoughts. One effective strategy is the “double standard method”. He recommends that rather than talking to yourself in a harsh, demeaning way, consider talking to yourself like you would a good friend or an innocent child. Take notice of how the change in the thought can impact a change in how you feel. Find out more about Dr. David Burns here. If this is difficult for you, due to past hurt and trauma, you might seek assistance from a trusted therapist to guide you through this process.

Body

When dealing with anxiety, depression, or just plain old, interpersonal stressors, it is best to get back to the very basics of self-care. Many clients say, “Self-care?... Isn’t that selfish?”. NO, it is not selfish, it is the very foundation of your mental and physical health. That foundation can help us stay balanced during times of stress. Self-care has many layers to it. The very basics of self-care are everything your loved ones would tell you to do; keep active, eat well, and get some rest. Easier said than done right?. For some people, there are many physical barriers to these things (small children, sick loved ones, busy work schedules, etc.) but for others, there are mental barriers. Each may require a shift in mindset. Both equally get in the way of doing what keeps us balanced and energized to handle the bumps in the road of life. One way to overcome these barriers is to do what research professor, Brene Brown recommends- give yourself a permission slip. Permission slips are described in her Dare to Lead™ curriculum as, “A practical and familiar way to think about what might get in the way of us talking about how we feel, asking for what we need, or trying something new.”. What permission slip do you need to write, in order to meet some basic self-care needs? Small goals of keeping active, eating well, and getting some rest?. If we start with these basics, we can move up from there. No emotional or physical energy for this type of thing? Lean on friends/family or find a trusted therapist who can help you on your self-care journey. Keep in mind, it is often the small changes that lead to big goals.

SPIRIT

Ok, so “Spirit” is an emotionally charged word. It doesn’t have to imply prayer or church attendance, although these things can really help some people. For others, it can be an effort to change perspective toward what IS going right. This can be accomplished through the act of “Gratitude” or “Savoring”.

Some ways that people exercise gratitude is by keeping a journal of 2-3 things each day that they are thankful for, or that just went well that day. If a journal is not your style, it can be a gratitude jar, where you put a piece of paper in each day with one thing that you cherish that day. Both of these methods are concrete. When life becomes difficult you can reflect on the items in the journal/jar to remind yourself of accomplishments or simple pleasures.

“Savoring” is a similar concept but requires fewer office supplies. “Savoring” the moment is simple in concept. It means to fully appreciate whatever we're experiencing in the moment. This requires that we slow down and be aware of the moment- when it's happening. Anything you like can be savored. These can be common and ordinary moments like the first day of spring, the taste of coffee, or the sweet behavior of your beloved pet. Being on the coast, here in Wilmington, NC, we can visit the beach and “savor” its beautiful natural scenery. By seeking and calling attention to these moments, and even saying them out loud, we can become absorbed in our experience. There is brain science behind this, we can actually rewire our brain to better experience the positive in life. This helps to balance out many of the dangers the brain seeks out without effort.

So as we say “goodbye” to 2020, we unfortunately take some of the stressors into 2021 with us. Many of these are beyond our control. What is within our control is the ability to make small changes in the area of mind, body and spirit. It is worth a try!

If you have any questions, or simply learn more about how I can help you take 2021 in stride don’t hesitate to fill out the form below!