Discover Your Window of Tolerance
“Trauma is a disorder of being in the here and now”
The Window of Tolerance
The Window of Tolerance is a concept created by Dr. Dan Siegel to illustrate arousal zones in people under stress. It symbolizes the fight or flight response we all have to a perceived threat. Read more about Dr. Siegel here!
We all have life stressors. Sometimes these stressors are easier to manage. When they are managed well, we are able to stay calm in the face of difficulty. Our thoughts are rational and emotions bearable. This is considered the “window of tolerance”. Meaning, difficulties can be managed in a healthy adaptive way.
Outside the Window
When we are feeling easily triggered or overwhelmed by the stressors that life sends our way, we can end up outside of the Window of Tolerance. The nervous system revs up and we might find ourselves in a physiological survival mode. This is often a fight, flight, or freeze response. We either shut down with a hypo-arousal response (freeze) or Hyper-arousal (fight, flight). Either way, this survival response lets our primal nervous system take over, leaving behind impulse control and rational judgment.
Tips for staying within your Window of Tolerance
There are as many ways to trigger you out of your window of tolerance as there are ways to guide you back in. What is most important is the awareness that you are outside of your window. Becoming more aware of your body sensations, thoughts, and feelings is a crucial first step.
How to Recover?
Once you can identify that you are outside your window of tolerance, it is important to make efforts to recover. This is where grounding skills come in. These are simple, and don’t sound like “skills”, but when someone is triggered outside their Window, it can be challenging to get back to a state of calm. Some Grounding ideas are listed below. For more information on grounding check, look here!
Take a deep breath; extend your exhale
Relax the muscles in your body
Stand tall- find the ground under your feet (“Be where your feet are”)
Take a brief walk
Notice the objects in the room, call out their names
Listen to a song you enjoy
Call a friend you trust
The size of the window is different for everyone. It can be narrow or wide depending on our life histories (trauma) or at different times of our lives (struggles). When the window is narrow it doesn’t take much to be pushed outside of it. We often have a response that is more angry, fearful or aggressive than the stressor that triggered us.
“When you react, you are giving away your power. When you respond, you are staying in control of yourself”
Why does this matter?
When your window of tolerance is narrow, life can be like a house of mirrors. There are all kinds of perceived threats that trigger a fear response. When those triggers send you into a fight, flight or freeze response it is difficult to access the thinking part of your brain. The part that can problem solve and stay connected with others. In this heightened state, it becomes a challenge to control our behaviors and we often do things we later regret. Staying within your window of tolerance helps meet the goal of “respond” rather than “react”, in stressful situations.
Adapting to your window of tolerance will often require coping strategies. Psychotherapy can help you to understand how emotional regulation impacts your life. A therapist will listen to you without judgment, providing space for you to take an honest look at what causes you stress and why. If you are looking for this type of support, or have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out by using the form below.
