Words That Heal
“Words have weight”
Affirmations, quotes, intentions, metaphors, journals, are all building blocks for healing. This use of individual words and stories are a common source of growth and insight in psychotherapy. When life is overwhelming, words help you to gain understanding and a sense of control.
“Name it to tame it”
“Name it to tame it” is a phrase used by Dr. Daniel Siegel. It is a simple phrase used to describe the complex process of emotional regulation. By taking a minute to focus on our physiological response to stress, and actually name the emotion we are feeling, we can regain a sense of control. This awareness can center us to a point where we can respond to stress with an internal awareness and calm. For more about Daniel Siegel look here!
“Stop Should’ing yourself”
Psychologist Clayton Barbeau came up with the term “Shoulding yourself”. It is used to describe one of the many cognitive distortions we all experience. Using a word like “should” usually leads to guilt and shame. No matter where it is directed (self or other), it really just adds a heavy burden to the statement. It can be much more empowering to use a different word; “I would like to”, “I can”, “I plan to”, “It is my goal to” etc. Try it and see how it fits.
“You are not your thoughts”
German spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle is known as saying “To realize you are not your thoughts is to awaken spiritually”. Well, as deep as that sounds, it is well known in psychology that putting some distance between yourself and your thoughts can be transformative. It is the bedrock of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
“Heads and tails are two sides of the same coin”
Guess what? Feelings don’t make sense. You can have two opposing feelings at the same time… it’s normal. In an effort to gain control, we often want an either/or scenario. We often view either/or as simpler to emotionally digest. What if we embraced the both/and? What if we could accept without resisting the complexity of emotions? This can lead to self-compassion. Accepting your experience for what it is without judgment can be a growth place for healing.
“Just do the right thing, the rest doesn’t matter”
For all you Stoics out there… Marcus Aurelius was Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and is quoted as saying, “Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter. Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested. Despised or honored”. Finding your core values to guide your “right thing” is an important part of meaningful living. Marcus Aurelius didn’t have to contend with Facebook or Instagram, but he does have some insight about how to turn down the outside noise and be true to yourself. For more on Stoicism look here!
These are interesting and fun uses of words in therapy, but the most powerful ones come from you. What words matter to you? What is inside that would be liberating to share? Psychotherapy can provide an opportunity to reflect on the words, stories, and ideas that matter to you. When we struggle to make sense of the meaning and purpose of our lives, it can lead to depression and anxiety.
“Tears are words that need to be written”
Putting your story into words either on paper in a journal or in a safe place with a therapist can help reorganize your thinking and your life. For people willing to take a brave look, having a safe space to unload your struggles can lead to better understanding. Taking control of the story in your head can lead to a new perspective. Who knows where that new perspective might take you. This can be a complicated process. If you have any questions about this or need a little guidance on your journey to a more authentic self, please feel free to reach out using the form below.
